HAL "OTACON" EMMERICH

CAUTION!! THIS PAGE CONTAINS SPOILERS! SUCH AS THIS:



ALSO, 'HAL' IS NOT SHORT FOR 'HALLWAY'

CHARACTER SUMMARY

OTACON IS A NERDFACE.

GOD, WHAT A NERD!!

HE IS GAY FOR SNAKE BUT ISN'T MAN ENOUGH TO OWN UP TO HIS SEXYTIEM FEELINGS.

HE IS FROM MANY GAY SOLDIERS AND IS PLAYED BY XYLIA

STATS

• STRENGTH: -3.14159
• INTELLIGENCE: 100%
• AGILITY: 22/7
• DEXTERITY: 13
• ABILITIES: HACKING, MAKING THINGS, CRYING, PISSING A LOT

PAST

HAL WAS BORN IN THE LATE SIXTIES OR EARLY-MID SEVENTIES AND HE WAS NAMED AFTER A COMPUTER.

HE WENT ON TO BECOME A GIGANTIC GUNDAM FAG FANBOY AND MADE METAL GEARS.

HE DIDN'T KNOW THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO CARRY NUKES UNTIL SNAKE TOLD HIM.

ALSO HE PEES LIKE A MILLION GALLONS OF PISS.

HE ALSO FELL IN LOVE WITH SNIPER WOLF EXCEPT SNAKE KILLED HER.

THEN LATER LOTS OF SHIT WENT DOWN.

I AM TOO LAZY TO WRITE A SUMMARY OF MGS2

ANYWAY.

CHARACTER RELATIONSHIPS

AKITO

• "AKITO IS A FRIEND OF MINE."
• R2: "I DON'T THINK WE TALK OFTEN ENOUGH. I SHOULD MAKE AN EFFORT."

BIG BOSS

• "B² IS A GOOD FRIEND OF MINE."
• R2: "I'M GLAD I GOT OVER BEING INTIMIDATED BY HIM. AND THEN TOTALLY FALLING IN LOVE WITH HIM. I THINK. ...I'M MOST HAPPY ABOUT US STILL BEING FRIENDS IN TEN YEARS."

THE BOSS

• "NENYA IS JACK'S MOTHER."
• R2: "THE BOSS IS AN AMAZING WOMAN. AND SHE BAKES GREAT COOKIES. I WISH WE WERE CLOSER."

EMMA

• "EMMA IS MY SISTER AND I LOVE HER."
• R2: "I DON'T THINK I COULD LOVE EMMA MORE IF I TRIED. SHE'S THE BEST SISTER I COULD ASK FOR."

GW

• "GTFO."
• R2: "NO, SERIOUSLY. GET THE FUCK OUT."

JOHN

• "JOHN IS... WELL, HE'S RAIDEN'S SON. SO HE'S NOT REALLY RELATED TO ME, BUT HE'S LIKE A NEPHEW."
• R2: "I THINK IT'S CUTE HOW MUCH HE LOOKS UP TO HIS DAD. BUT I HOPE WHEN HE GROWS UP, HE'S STILL AN OTAKU. I LIKE BEING COOL UNCLE OTACON D="

JULIE

• "...SKIP."
• R2: "OH GOD. I REALLY DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT JULIE."

LOTTA

• "I REALLY LIKE LOTTA. I WANT TO GET MAGICAL TALENT SOON SO I CAN STUDY IT WITH HER."
• R2: "I HOPE WE STAY FRIENDS FOR A LONG TIME, IF NOT INDEFINITELY. SHE SEEMS LIKE THE TYPE I CAN TRUST WITH ANYTHING."

MAX

• "MAX IS A FRIEND OF MINE."
• R2: "I REALLY WISH THAT LOGAN GUY COULD COME HERE. HE SEEMS TO MEAN A LOT TO HER. I'D LIKE TO HELP HER GET OVER THE ISSUES SHE HAS WITH HER WORLD, AND I FEEL KIND OF BAD EVERYTIME I COMPLAIN ABOUT MINE."

PARAMEDIC

• "PARAMEDIC- WOULD CALLING HER JANE BE WEIRD? SHE'S FROM JACK'S TIME, BUT SHE'S MY FRIEND TOO."
• R2: "I HAVE A FEELING WE'LL BE VERY GOOD FRIENDS SOMEDAY. I LOOK FORWARD TO IT."

PIKACHU

• "PIKACHU IS AN AWESOME POKEMON! HE'S MY FAVORITE!"
• R2: "OMFGGGGG PIKACHUUUUU"

OCELOT

• "OCELOT? OH, WE DON'T TALK MUCH."
• R2: "EVEN THOUGH HE'S YOUNG NOW, HE'LL STILL ALWAYS BE THE OCELOT THAT TORTURED MY BEST FRIEND."

RAIDEN

• "RAIDEN'S A FRIEND OF MINE. I MAKE HIM ARMOR A LOT."
• R2: "I THINK HE'S STARTING TO GET DISTANCEY WITH ME... SHOULD I CONFRONT HIM ABOUT THIS? I LIKED IT WHEN WE WERE FRIENDS. AND, I ALSO LIKED IT WHEN I DIDN'T FEEL GUILTY FOR TALKING TO ROSE OR JOHN."

RENGE

• "RENGE IS MY FRIEND! WE'RE GEEKY OTAKU TOGETHER."
• R2: "RENGE IS AWESOME. I'M SORRY I WAS EVER FRIGHTENED OF HER."

ROSE

• "ROSE IS A GOOD FRIEND OF MINE. SHE'S RAIDEN'S WIFE."
• R2: "I THINK IT'S KIND OF FUNNY HOW MUCH CLOSER I AM TO ROSE THAN RAIDEN. I REALLY THINK SHE'S BECOME ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS."

SAILOR MARS

• "MARS IS SO COOL!"
• R2: "MARS IS SO COOL [FANFAGS]"

SNAKE

• "SNAKE? HE'S MY BEST FRIEND. WE HAVE A LOT OF HISTORY."
• R2: "I THINK MY BIGGEST FEAR ABOUT SNAKE IS HIM GROWING OLD TOO FAST. AGAIN. I DON'T THINK I CAN HANDLE IT; LIFE IS JUST SO UNFAIR TO HIM. I FEEL LIKE I'M INDEBTED TO IKE. EVEN THOUGH WE DON'T TALK MUCH, I WANT TO THANK HIM EVERYTIME I SEE HIM FOR MAKING SNAKE SMILE."

SNIPER WOLF

• "I LOVED HER."
• R2: "STILL NOT STOCKHOLM SYNDROME."

STEPHANIE

• "I REALLY ENJOY STEPHANIE'S COMPANY. SHE'S ADORABLE."
• R2: "I THINK I HAVE A NEVERLAND-TYPE SYNDROME ABOUT HER. I NEVER WANT HER TO GROW UP AND LOSE HER INNOCENCE. SHE'S A BEAUTIFUL PERSON."

SUNNY

• "WE'RE NOT RELATED, BUT SUNNY CALLS ME UNCLE HAL, AND I LIKE TO THINK OF HER AS AN ADOPTED DAUGHTER."
• R2: "I WISH I HAD SUNNY WITH ME, BUT SNAKE WOULDN'T KNOW HER. I THINK SHE'D MISS HIM."

VICTOR

• "HM, I DON'T TALK TO VICTOR OFTEN. HE'S A SCIENTIST, JUST LIKE ME."
• R2: "HE REMINDS ME OF WHEN I WAS YOUNGER AND SHUT MYSELF OFF FROM THE WORLD FOR AWHILE. I REALLY WANT SHOULD MAKE AN EFFORT TO GET HIM TO COME OUT MORE; I'D LIKE TO BE HIS FRIEND."