Another Jan Doyle Story

Jan wiped the sweat from her forehead and continued edging along the wall. It was dark in the warehouse and she had dropped her torch down the abyss only a few inches away from her. The only thing stopping her from falling was the thin ledge she edged along. Suddenly the wall behind her left arm crumbled and she saw the ripped open corpse of Englebert followed by a crashing sound as Fred's head fell through the ceiling.

Jan screamed as she pushed away at the horrific sight, then plunged into the inky blackness...

When she regained consciousness, she was lying in a barred cages, covered with straw. Beyond that, darkness. An eerie blue light glowed around the prison. She tried to move but her wrists and ankles were bound with rope.

"You awake then?" a voice whispered behind her. She rolled over and saw Fred and Englebert in a similar predicament, seemingly unscathed except a few bruises.

"But.. you're alive!" she managed to stutter

"Don't worry, it was just a holographic image" grunted Fred "We had the same thing done to us."

"Well that's a bit rough isn't it?" replied Jan

"Have you got your special boots on?" Asked Engle

"Sure have!" exclaimed Jan "If I just twist my leg a bit.."

"Your boot blows a hole in the cage and frees us?"

"No, I get a nice drink of orange juice."

"That's great." said Fred sarcastically "Really gets us out of this mess."

There was a noise above them. They all stared up at the cold steel cage ceiling. It was slightly dented inwards.

"What was..." started Fred

Blam. Another blow ripped open the cage roof and a creature leapt down the jagged hole. It was one of the alien creatures they had seen earlier. It landed skillfully inbetween the three surprised prisoners and the blue light glinted off its smooth metallic armour. A growl emitted from its sharp toothed maw.

"I thought these things only exist in movies." said Engle

The alien swiped at Fred, narrowly missing his face and cutting through the rope holding him down. Its tongue flew out of its mouth and cut the remaining rope. Jan screamed and cowered in a corner, helpless. Fred, now freed, leapt backwards to the opposite corner where his SmartGun lay. He swiftly pulled the strap over his shoulder. The alien growled and approached him. "Eat this!" Fred mumbled and squeezed the trigger. The sound of a million bullet pumping from the barrel rang out around the cage. The alien screamed as his ribbed chest was ripped to shreds.

Fred stepped over the smoky remains and freed his two comrades.

"Let's blow this joint." announced Jan grimly, as she loaded her newly found shotgun.

"Stop that Engle, she didn't mean to take it literally"

"Sorry."

They ran toward a large metal door. There was no way of opening that could be seen.

"How do we open it?" asked Fred

"Stand back, I'll show you!" Shouted Jan as she threw a few grenades at the door.

They leapt for cover as the eruption spewed spewed shards of hot metal around the black room. As the fire died down, they picked themselves up and looked down the pitch black corridoor.

"Hang on" said Jan "I'll light + flare"

She pulled out a white metal canister and pulled a pin throwing it down the exit. There was a brilliant blue glare.

"You silly bitch, I can't see a thing now." Mumbled Fred

"Stop complaining will you?" Shouted Jan "It's not my fault, they've got the writing wrong on the side of the flare."

"I'll use my torch" said Fred "I don't know why I didn't use it before but never mind."

He switched the torch on after jan put out the flare, the beam of light shone down the corridoor. Nothing unusual appared. Just some indecipherable language carved into the strange organic structures looming bulbously from the walls and ceiling, glistening with moisture.

"Spooky" commented Fred

"Oh well, let's go" announced Engle, leading the way.

They continued down the corridoor which widened out into a large room with no exits. It was filled with computers with tapes spinning, lights flashing, accompanied by lots of bleeping noises.

"I think we're in the main computer room!" Exclaimes Engle

"Nah it's the toilet." added Jan sarcastically

The room was slowly dimming, the lights slowly fading away. The buzz of electronics was slowly being replaced with a thudding rhythm, like a heart slowly beating. "Oh bugger.." Began Engle, before his torch flickered out.

There was silence. After a minute or so of this torturous quietness a burst of gunfire rang out, the flash of a barrel pinpricked in the blackness. The lights came back on. Jan had her semi-automatic in the air, smoke issuing from the Barrel.

"Well I had to do something didn't I?" She said, an angry tone in her voice.

The thumping continued "Oh bugger this." She pumped round after round into the computers and the others joined in, grimly firing at the alien machinery.

The bullets didn't harm the machinery at all. The room lit up once more. There were no scratches to be seen at all. "Eh?" said Engle, puzzled "How come it hasn't harmed them?"

"Some kind of force shield" suggested Jan "I wonder.."

Jan reloaded her gun and fired again. This time a machine exploded and the room went dark once more. "Thought so." said Jan thoughtfully "Proto neudower detection."

"What's that?" asked Fred

"Dunno, just made it up. But what I say it means is the force sheild is only operating when it is dark. "

"Erm," began Engle "Then it wants to be called an antiphotophotonizing detection system, the part pseudo-nuclear radon magnetising electro force sheild.."

"Shuttup dickweed" Jan cut Engle off.

"Hang on though, if I just.." Engle bent over a particularly mashed up piece of electronics, fiddled with some microchips and the ceiling began to descend. It stopped about half way down and opened up revealing the light of day.

"Jan you leave a bomb behind and then follow us up the rope." Fred told her as he threw up a rope out into the hole in the ceiling. He climbed out, closely followed by Engle.

"But I haven't got any bombs anymore. I've used them. All I've got left are some pork pies I've baked.

"Dattle do" Engle cried as he swung a grapple rope around his head and launched it into the air. It caught onto the edge of the ceiling. They all climed up, throwing the pies down as they went. They stood out in the open scanning the wilderness. They saw what the the grapple had hooked onto; it was an alien's hand. "Hi!" rasped the Alien and growled..

Find out what happens next week!


(in the original story there's lots of problems with story telling and our grasp of the English language. I keep slipping into present tense and Duncan puts a comma after every 'And'. I've corrected some of those but kept as much as possible the same as the original. -Derek)


I don't remember this one at all! Sub-fanfic quality writing! Great.