Holiday

Jan, Fred, Englebert and themselves are on holiday, in the south of France instead of fighting aliens. Will they be able to survive the horror of this holiday? Read on..

"Where's the plane then?" asked Englebert
"Where's the plane now?" replied Jan
"THe plane is at the airport and it leaves in 4 hours time. Why on earth did you want to set off at 6:00am to catch a plane at 10:00am when it's a
5 minute drive to the ariport!?" said Fred arriving from the luggage depot.
"okay the company has bypassed the security, our equipment is on the train."

Jan and Englebert looked at each other puzzled.

"What do you mean equipment, I've got a load of luggage here which you didn't take with you." Jan pointed out

"Well I ... " Fred started, before there was a muffled explosion from the control tower. There were shouts and people scattered. A smooth metallic object was hovering above the tower.

"Shit! Predatons!" shouted Fred "Let's scram and call the company!"

"Are you sure it's Predatons?" enquired Englebert "Jan, did you pack any of your steak and kidney pies?"

"As a matter of fact I did and one has gone missing." Jan replied

A strange meaty smell started drifting down the corridor.

"Ooh.." said Englebert "Better get our rad suits on."

"There! In the luggage." said Fred

Suddenly hundreds of tiny blue balls bounced down the corridor followed by a screaming ghost

"AAARGH! A GHOST!" screamed Fred

"Nope, just a picked onion sandwich made by Jan" replied Engle

Jan had been away for a short time, unnoticed by Fred and Engle. She arrived back with several large guns just as a group of Predatons started coming down the corridor.

They were bristling with spikey weapons and armour. Their leader pointed to the heroes and hissed.

"I know them! They are Vigilante humanscum! Kill them!" he shouted

The Predatons threw their spikey looking things at them and let fly with their guns.

"Just leg it now! We've got to get to our luggage!" shouted Jan, returning fire "Run!"

All three ran outside onto the runway, missiles screaming around them.


Suddenly, a flash of lightning crawled out of a cloud, sighed and disappeared. Reluctantly the thunder followed pessimistically. The rain stopped what it was doing and fell out of the sky, hitting the ground and forming puddles.

"Ooh" said Jan "How nice to see that happen on a Wednesday."

"Stop admiring the weather will you?" nudged Fred

"Okay, can I blast them now?"

The predatons had chased them outside and were standing in Jans line of fire when she pulled the triggers on her grenade launcher, machine gun, flame thrower and mince pie thrower. The noise was deafening for about 2 seconds as the airport and Predatons were totally obliterated. People ran away in panic.

"We've got to get out of here!" Jan cried "The police will be coming and we can't be discovered, Aliens or no Aliens!"

All three nodded in agreement and ran off in different directions. Fred lept on to the moving train with the luggage, Jan dives onto a concorde just taking off and engle is searching his pockets for 10ps outside the phone booth. He's probably going to phone Vigilante to tell them what's going on. Nobhead.

Hang on though.. there's just you, the reader and me the narrator, standing on this runway with people running everywhere in the distance.
Jan, Fred or Engle? I know, Fred, since he's got the luggage. The good thing about being a narrator is that we can jump to anywhere we like. For example..

PING, now we're on the train. Good eh? Fred's here in the cargo carriage, checking through some suitcases. Somebody elses I'll be bound! He's found a telephone (don't ask) and is dialing. How boring. Let's go see how jan is doing!

"Move over creep!" Jan growled, sticking a revolver against the pilot's head. "And don't do anything foolish."

"You mean like crash the plane?" said the co-pilot, his hands in the air.

"yeah that's right" said Jan

"Well.." said the First Pilot getting out of his chair "We can't exactly not crash the plane at the moment since both of us pilots have got our hands in the air."

Jan quickly sat down in the seat and grabbed the control stick.

"You can fly it?" asked the co-pilot

"No."

The stewardess popped in.

"Would anyone like some coffee?" she smiled

"Trying to buy me off eh?" shouted Jan

"No, I just thought people in here would like a coffee."

"See! You admit it!"

There's always something happening around Jan isn't there?

Jan points a rather large gun which appears to come from nowhere (but no one complains), at the stewardess "Look BITCH, get out of here or I'll blow your head off! Oh and what's the in flight movie?"

"The Poseidon Adventure. Sorry."

The co-pilot coughed and said "You can't fire that in here, it will go through the fuselage and the cabin will de-pressurise and we'll all get sucked out into the vaccum of the atmosphere!" He paused, panting.

"Oh yeah?" Jan grinned, and pulled the trigger...


Engleburt found a 10p and jammed it into the machine. It had taken him 10 minutes to find a 10p. He's got very deep pockets. I don't know if anyone has ever found the bottom of them. No one's ever wanted to look! Anyway he dials a number on the phone..

"Hi! Suzy here! Except I'm not cos this is a recorded answer phone message but if you want me, leave your name address etc and I'll get back to you later unless I get killed or something. Get read to get all you want to say said in 5 seconds after the BEEP!"

"Damn wrong number. Back to searching." said Engle putting the phone down and starting rummaging again.

Fred, who was carrying his suitcase, leapt onto a snakk haystack which was on holiday. (this is getting too silly start again - Derek)(Ignore this paragraph) (No it started off okay -Duncan)

I don't care!! Start it again! - Derek

And write a whole paragraph yourself! -Derek

Look, why don't we just end this story - it's getting too boring. -Duncan

END OF PART 1