riddle s fault
[[riddle_s_fault]] last edit on Mar 13, 2008 8:48 PM by Anonymous

Everything is Tom Riddle's fault. Including, but not limited to...

1) Anakin Skywalker
- Excuse me, but I think other people are at fault for me being alive.
- O rly.
- I wonder how many people actually buy the "conceived by midichlorians" bit.
- ...I think Palpatine might have been my father, myself.
- Oh, alright, fine.
- No, I am your father! breathe.

2) Palpatine being Anakin's daddy.
- Emperor Palpatine has got it goin' oooon.
- Once, my make up teacher dressed up as Emperor P. As in, made the mask, got the cape,
etc. And then he shot flames out of his sleeves. The end.

3) Gwendal's uterus

4) Me wanting to number every single entry for posterity

5) Me having to get up at 5am next week to do stocktake.

6) Obi-Wang.

7) My utterly horrible math finals grade.

8) *My* utterly horrible Geo finals grade.

9) My lack of a job. (Hey, mine too!) (same!) (Yeeeep.)

10) The Standard Aptitude Test and the fact that it's in two weeks and I haven't studied yet. (It is!?)

11) The reason why I goof in in History and Spanish and English and Debate and Computer Science.

12) Seattle's 33 straight days of rain. (That was you? Bastard!)

13) A-Team shippers. (You all can go DIE D:)

14) The strange formatting in some of these entries. (I hate the forced soft-returns. HATE.) (Agreed.)

15) The zeppelin in the Fullmetal Alchemist anime.
- The Fullmetal Alchemist anime period.
- Nah, just the movie.
- Well, Ed dying in the anime, if you think about it.
- Ed dying in the anime would have been fine if it hadn't happened twice in the same episode.

16) Winry crying.

17) Cal dying (just the second time) (wait, I thought Riddle was the first time and the Gentlemen were the second?)(But everything's supposed to be Riddle's fault).

18) Bunnies. Them and their twitchy little noses. (And what's with all the carrots?)(Yeah, what do they need such good eyesight for anyway?)

19) The last 25 chapters of Fruits Basket.
- People tempting us with spoilers for the recent chapters of Fruits Basket, aklsjdfh
- You know you love it.

20) Spoilers in general.

21) Computers becoming infected with LJ-hate. wtf stop giving errors LJ.

22) The LJ login widget's sudden and inopportune death.

23) Audience members failing finals, missing work and not seeing the sunlight for days.

24) 61 counselor apps. 68 counselor apps, go die. >( (We love you, mods~)

25) Weiß Kreuz canon - with the exception of Nina, the seeing-eye pigeon.

26) This list not getting updated often enough.

27) Dropped characters.

28) The Game. (asll;kjs Damn you.) (ARGH)

29) The fact that I can't get images to work right.

30) This site not letting you do formatting in links (unless I just don't know how?)

31) Naked IRC. (Nooooo, that's MUSTANG's fault!) (But Mustang is Riddle's fault! ...somehow!)

32) RIDDLE DROPPING. DDD:

33) Microsoft.

34) The lack of information on Yumichika.

35) LJ breaking.

36) The UNGODLY awful animation of Weiß Kreuz.

37) Bad Internet connections

38) My Latin homework

39) My Latin homework, too!

40) My Japanese homework

41) My Japanese and Maths homework D<

42) My French Homework

43) Time-consuming projects

44) SATs

45) Air pollution due to constant farting

46) Traffic

47) The world exploding

48) Spontaneously imploding IRC clients

49) Fanfiction.net

50) Mary-Sues

51) Chizuru's groping habits

52) Snakes on a plane (whatever that is)

53) Keyboards topping everyone

54) Wolfram's loss of virginity

55) ... and Gwendal von Walde's maintenance of virginity (though Yuusuke may soon change this, which is good because normally Gwendal is too scary for sex).

56) Did that ever get resolved, by the way?

57) The M5 orbital motorway

58) Chii

59) Yuuri's -masturbation- HANDJOB techniques (STFU) (WAIT MAOU SAYS "WUT?!")(What, you don't remember?)

60) Wolfram's penis

61) Traffic accidents

62) The invention of the keyboard

63) This list growing longer and longer

64) Ashjuice

65) Shoes, ships, and sealing wax

66) The Spanish Inquisition

67) No one expecting the Spanish Inquisition

68) Silk screening labs

69) The blatant overuse of Monty Python jokes

70) The blatant overuse of Zero Wing jokes

71) Family Guy jokes in general

72) Killer horses

73) Telemarketeers

74) Me not getting Stalin's speech memorized (WOE!)

75) Montana

76) Characters from Kyou Kara Maou! being unable to write AUs We can TOO go die. (Audience Member A: would like to say "No, no you can't, you hosers.") (You cannot insult me with my own Canada slander.)

77) Playercest

78) Banks

79) Global Warming

80) The Pythagorean Theorum

81) Emo

82) Gundam pilot emo

83) Ninja emo

84) Straight-girl-in-a-camp-of-gay-boys emo

85) Tringham emo

86) Izumi's inablity to procreate

87) Adult Swim

88) Bad dubs

89) He put the bop in the bop-sha-bop-sha-bop. (Except wait, isn't that a good thing?)(Not if you're the other guy who would have gotten the other guy's 'baby' to fall in love with him had nobody written the Book of Love.) (Was this also the guy who put the lime in the coconut? If so, I'd like to have a word with him...)

90) Gai-sensei's unitard

91) My inability to buy Tylenol Sinus Extra Strength without PAIN and DIFFICULTY

92) My history prof's obsession with bashing Christianity

93) The Noreaster that ripped the wires out of my house

94) Lavitz's death

95) The Olsen Twins

96) The last three chapters of the Sailor Moon manga

97) The missing pool chapter in the Wedding Peach manga

98) Australia's movie release schedules

99) Hilary Duff

100) Hilary Duff's teeth

101) Research papers

102) Marmalade Boy (Hey, I liked Marmalade Boy!)

103) The drugs that most manga artists and anime directors are on (Hey, I LIKED those drugs!)

104) Soylent Green (Hey, I LIKED that soylent green!)

105) Excel's NaNoWriMo (Hey, I LIKED Excel's NaNoWriMo!)

106) The destruction of Tokyo (Hey, I liked the - okay, never mind. I got nothin') (...well, /I/ liked it)

107) Nanowrimo in general

108) Me just finding out today what NaNoWriMo is.

109) Pirate shortages

110) The Common App

111) My college applications in general

112) Shinn's college apps getting lost in the mail

113) My Computer Science lab

114) Rapid desensitization due to the media

115) The fact that this list keeps getting LONGER AND LONGER, you crazy fucks! You love it okay, GO!

116) Harry Potter's Cutie Moon Rod (STFU HE DOES NOT HAVE A CUTIE MOON ROD.)(YES HE DOES IRC TOLD ME SO.)

117) Getting a "yes" vote between 65% and 69.9% on your app

118) Buffy not winning more Emmys

119) Getting a "NO" vote at 70.1% on your app

120) Psst. It's "In" or "Out," not "Yes" or "No"

121) Flunking a midterm because he and Ed broke up the night before.

122) Losing my copy of Half Blood Prince

123) Half Blood Prince in general

124) Vampires o_o ^_^ ~_~ (STFU vampires r hot, wut)

125) Harry Potter in general. Or at least the fandumb.

126) The Polkaroo

127) The Governator

128) No Harry Potter in Camp Fuck You Die. Yep, that's Riddle's fault, too. Update Jan 2 '05: This has been resolved, although Harry Potter has not entered camp yet.

129) Itachi/Neji/Anakin threesomes (That's... a bad thing?)

130) Biz having to pee like every five minutes.

131) Ticky boxes

132) Armpit sex

133) Orochimaru milk

134) Porn

135) Porn not being on this list sooner

136) Porn being on this list at all, 'cause dudes - porn is good. Unless it's bad porn which is an entirely different thing.

137) Amelia's return

138) Hot Hot Heat

139) My Chemical Romance

140) Linkin Park (CRAAAAAAWLING IIIIIIN MY SKIIIIIIN!!!)

141) The Director's Husband's secret ghey mistresses

142) Menstruation

143) Month-long pauses between replies in AU porn

144) AU porns that are never finished

145) Tea porn

146) Ashcock

147) Ed's uterus, for the brief time that he has one

148) Near and L being emotional retards to each other.

149) The Alphabet being emotional retards to each other.

150) Yogurt

151) Yogurt bukkake

152) Death by yogurt bukkake

153) Suzu abusing her accomplices (They love it.)

154) Yoda being a shounen retard

155) Anakin/Riddle yuri

156) Livejournal downtime

157) Livejournal downtime being mentioned more than once

158) Someone beating me to the joke re: LJ downtime

159) Someone new logging on IRC every few minutes to mention that LJ is down.

160) Hay guys did you know that LJ is down? (O RLY?) (FOR REALZ) (WUT?) (NO WAI!)

161) LJ owning our collective souls.

162) LJ still being down

163) LJ going down in a sloppy manner (and you love it go)

164) Lalala

165) People getting in trouble for editing this too often because LJ was down.

166) Harry Potter Badfic. Or is Riddle himself Harry Potter badfic's fault?

167) All 64 slices of American cheese

168) Icon glitches

169) The fact that my school computers block LJ

170) Mine too.

171) Authors who say they'll update every week and then don't

172) Publishers that go out of business in the middle of a series

173) Eight-year-old porn (as in porn written by eight-year-olds) (does anybody remember aguywhoeats from fanfiction.net?) (no, what about him?)

174) Bad crossovers

175) The common cold

176) Horses (wait, horses what?) (Have horsesex with humans and cause death to stupid people. Obviously.)

177) Womanly vessels

178) Audience members failing finals (so true) (Oh, god, isn't it?)

179) Riddle-mun failing finals (also true)

180) LJ glitches

181) Boggarts!

182) Weiß Kreuz in its entirety

183) BunnYzak (Hey, I liked Bunny-Yzak!) (So do I, but it's still his fault~) (BunnYzak actually needs to DIE and by DIE I mean go back to being a tiny loud moron because SO SCARY D:) (Wolfram is a wimp.)

184) Dearka humping BunnYzak

185) Wolfram's IRC not working

186) Alex's work shift tonight

187) The lack of (non-married) sex at camp. (Fixed!)

188) Wes' emo

189) Mamaou, the Kingliest Mother this side of Shin Makoku

190) Menstural cramps. (Ew, girl stuff!)

191) Gojyo not being able to access LJ WOES! D:

192) The number 398.

193) Spending money I don't have

194) World War I

195) CAPS LOCK RAGE

196) Once, Shinn had a copy of Sorcerer's Stone signed by J.K. Rowling, and then her younger siblings tore it up.

197) Furry porn

198) The print screen button

199) Mori's powers (Seriously, Law of Ueki creator, whatever your name is. What are you on, and where can I get some?)

200) The Game (FUCK. YOU.) (*snickers*)

201) 4chan

202) 4Chan not being on this list already, sheesh people.

203) /b/

204) The ending to Metal Gear Solid 2... or the whole latter half of the game in general. (But the cracky ending is so MGS. D:)

205) Egg-nog Dragons

206) Tohru falling off a cliff (SPOILER D:)(Audience would like to note that she didn't know it was a spoiler UNTIL YOU SAID THAT go die.)

207) Hangovers

208) Player hiatuses.

209) The Basilisk currently rampaging through camp

210) The ENTIRE Fullmetal Alchemist Movie

211) Firefly getting cancelled (NOOOooooOOOOoooOOO!!!)

212) Gojyo bidding his cock for Hakkai

213) AAA and its inability to drive ten minutes in under three hours to pick up the three teenaged girls who blew out not one, but TWO tires on a really crappy Saab. (As an employee for AAA: Yeah, they suck hard.)(...Apparently I have AAA too. Holy crap.)

214) This list being so damned long.

215) Victoria and Eugene Urameshi. Actually? That whole dub.

216) The fact that it dropped from being 85 degrees to 55 and raining in less than a week. Whyyyyy

217) My computer's conspiracy with my cat to drive me insane

218) ...MY CAT PEEING IN MY JUST-CLEANED LAUNDRY AS I WROTE THAT. THE HELL?!

219) BELIEVE IT!

220) Harry Potter being dropped

221) The New York Yankees

222) Calculus

223) Barry Bonds

224) The JFK assassination

225) lj being partially down the only time I have time to check it for the next week.

226) My sudden desire to play Kingdom Hearts

227) My random desire to read Riddle/Axel (...That would be hot. Except Roxas would kill him)

228) Emo kids

229) Fat chicks in small clothing

230) John Kerry

231) The fact that I have a massive project due tomorrow that I haven't even started

232) Artemis' Lover

233) The fact that there's some Pokemon author attempting to be the new Oscar

234) Dropped characters. D:

235) Goatse, Tubgirl, Lemonparty and all related images (how could this not have been mentioned already? come on people, whats wrong with you!)

236) Mac outselling Microsoft

237) Murderous hatred of Anthy

238) Male 'sympathy PMS' (Where they turn into bastards, just for the fun of it)

239) This list HAVING NO END OH GOD

240) A-Rod

241) Gay people

242) Hippies

243) Minnesota's recent refusals to harbor snow.

244) The fact that I read this entire list when I should be working on my essay.


(Joe Says: My God. I did it. I reformatted the entire Uncyclopedia list.

...My arm hurts.)