Firefly

Firefly is a tragically canceled show about pirates in space. Also, cowboys and space hookers. Who swear in a mixture of Mandarin and Cantonese and are incredibly witty in any circumstance. It's a Joss Whedon show, why are you surprised?

Most of the cast has been in camp, but they all left. Sometimes a few times over. Obviously, this needs to be rectified.

River Tam

Insane adolescent psychic assassin. Will fuck your shit up if you mess with her or Simon. Will also fuck your shit up if triggered. Just wants to be a girl and despite reading the emo of everyone at camp, is surprisingly cheerful at times.
Has returned to camp!

Inara Serra

Is using wiles right now.

Kaywinnit Lee "Kaylee" Frye

Tops the universe simply by existing and being her sunny self. Yes, she can top you.

Simon Tam

Not in an incestuous relationship with his sister. Is secretly relieved that he is no longer the resident pretty-boy of the ship. Smiles four times in the series. (Five if you count the deleted scenes)

Hoban "Wash" Washburne

Technically dead, but hasn't let that stop him. Has been with a warrior woman and will tell you so at length. Is never allowed to say "I am a leaf on the wind, watch how I soar".

Malcolm Reynolds

Knows that not all space hookers are created equal. Run from the one that tries to marry you, have guilty sex with the hot and strong one who totally tops you, and then drown your ship with UST you have with high-class one. Looks fabulous in a bonnet, a dress, or nothing at all. Has war emo.

Jayne Cobb

He's got big guns and doesn't kiss women on the mouth. What else do you need to know?

Adopted Crew (Both of which are also Escaped Crew and Returned Crew)

Robert Haydn

Because one psychologically messed up teenager is just not enough.

Roy Mustang

Mal has projection issues.