Excel Saga

In the Year of Darkness, 201X, when frill-wearing prosecutors walked the streets, the people of the world are plugged into a giant computer system known as... 4chan. This software matrix was designed by the evil otaku overlord Taishi Kuhonbutsu, who is harvesting their human energy for chargin' his lazor. But there are those who would stand against his tyranny, and in order to reshape the future, they decided to change the past. The plan required something that felt no pity. No pain. No fear. Something unstoppable.

They created Excel.

In order to rid the world of Taishi Kuhonbutsu, Excel needed to terminate his only known link in the world; namely, his father. And so, she took her Delorean forward to the past... to kill Il Palazzo!

As you may have guessed, this did not go exactly as planned. Due to a programming error, Excel immediately fell in love with her target and began following him around like a lost puppy. He mostly just ignored her until she found out about the time travel thing, after which he welcomed her into his organization. The story of Excel Saga revolves around their time-traveling adventures. Also, at some point they left Robo behind to plant a forest.

The illustrious members of the Somewhat Menacing Pit-Viper Assassination Squad

(Also known as ACROSS)

Excel (Horny Toad)

Excel woke up from that coma knowing only one thing...

...that she must kill Il.

Hyatt (Man-of-War Jellyfish)

A former comrade of Excel's, Hyatt became an enemy when Excel turned against Il Palazzo.

However, despite her feared assassin skills, Excel was able to defeat her handily by standing around waiting for five minutes, after which Hyatt died without any help.

Menchi (Still just an emergency food supply despite all parody)

Excel v 2.0 (Electric Bass)

Before he left her on that island, Excel was a woman. She was Il Palazzo's woman. She was a conqueror who conquered for him. Before he left her on that island, she would have jumped a motorcycle onto a speeding train... for him.

But after he left her on that island, she could no longer do any of those things. Not anymore. Because she was a robot.

Also known as the Excellinator, the second Excel was also sent back in time to destroy Il Palazzo. Or maybe she's just a big plot hole. Please pretend to be surprised when she's apped by the original Excel's player.

Key (Banana Eel)

"Electric Bass. I should have been Electric Bass."

Elgala (Pygmy Hippo)

Il Palazzo

ALL HAIL ILPACOCK

No, wait, what are you-

• the rope*

NOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooo_ooooooooooo *crunch*

_{My pelvis!}