Dynasty Warriors

DO NOT ENGAGE LU BU

Dynasty Warriors is a series of painstakingly accurate historical simulation games made by Koei. It sheds new light on many interesting, obscure facts about China's Three Kingdoms era, such as:

• Sun Ce, the renowned "Little Conqueror" who established his family's stronghold in the Wu Territory, was a devout surfer.
• The ingenius Shu tactician Pang Tong was actually a ninja turtle.
• Lady Zhen, wife of Wei Emperor Cao Pi, wore enough makeup to paint the faces of an entire brothel for a month.
• Ancient China had samurai.
• Shu general Wei Yan was a caveman for some reason.
• Lu Bu never died. Instead, he, his girlfriend, and his boyfriend rode off into the sunset and kicked total ass for the rest of their lives.
• Feather fans shoot lasers.