il palazzo
[[il_palazzo]] last edit on
Mar 2, 2009
7:22 PM
by Anonymous
DRESSING ROOM PRESIDENT FOR LIFE!
HEIL IL PALAZZO!!!
LORD IL PALAZZO RULES THE DRESSING ROOM. THIS IS COMPLETELY TRUE AND YOU KNOW IT'S TRUE BECAUSE:
- HE SAYS SO
- HE HAS PRETTY HAIR
- HE DID A LOT OF LEVEL-GRINDING IN THE CAVE OF ORDEALS.
PLAYED BY UNCREATIVITY WHO IS UNHEALTHILY OBSESSED WITH THE EXCEL SAGA MANGA
IMPORTANT RELATIONSHIPS
THE WAIFU
GREATER BEAST ZELAS IS HIS LEGALLY-WEDDED WIFE. MAZOKU CAN'T LOVE BUT NEITHER CAN IL PALAZZO, SO IT WORKS OUT PRETTY WELL.
THE VICE PRESIDENT
XELLOSS AND IL PALAZZO GONNA CONQUER THE HELL OUT OF THIS DRESSING ROOM. FUCK YEAH PURPLE PARTY!!!
THE SON
IL PALAZZO FIRED MAO AS HIS SON, PICKING UP WHAT HE FEELS TO BE A SUPERIOR OVERLORD, LAHARL. HOWEVER, IN DOING SO, MAO IS NOW HIS GRANDSON.
THE BFF
IL PALAZZO'S BEST/ONLY FRIEND IS GOD.
THE EX
UNFORTUNATELY, MISS MIA FEY GOT JOINT-CUSTODY OF THE ROPE.
THE SUBORDINATES
EXCEL NUMBER ONE (HTTP:LATRINE-ORDERLY.LIVEJOURNAL.COM)
HIS VERY FIRST SUBORDINATE. HE HAS A FONDNESS FOR HER HE DOES NOT KNOW HOW TO EXPRESS EXCEPT THROUGH VIOLENCE.
EXCEL NUMBER TWO (HTTP:ILL-PRESIDENTE.LIVEJOURNAL.COM)
USED TO REPLACE THE ORIGINAL EXCEL WHILE SHE WAS OFF BEING A DEPRESSED AMNESIAC, THIS EXCEL IS A ROBOT. AND HER PERSONALITY IS THAT SHE'S A ROBOT.
HYATT (HTTP:ZOMBIE-HYATT.LIVEJOURNAL.COM
THE ONE THAT BLEEDS A LOT.
ELGALA (HTTP:ELGALALALA.LIVEJOURNAL.COM)
...WAIT, WHO IS THIS AGAIN?
SOMETIMES IL PALAZZO IS A DOCTOR
THIS IS CANON. PROOF:
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=E8498F21
CAKE
YOU SPEAK ILL NOW, BUT WILL THANK ME WHEN THE OBESITY EPIDEMIC COMES TO A HALT. - I.P.
IT SHOULD BE NOTED THAT THIS POLICY IS BLATANTLY IGNORED, AND NEVER ENFORCED. ONLY ONCE HAS ENFORCEMENT BEEN A POSSIBILITY, AND THAT WAS WHEN SHINKU WAS ACTING LIKE MORE OF A BITCH THAN NORMAL, AND STOLE MOD POWERS. THE RULE IS OTHERWISE QUITE IRRELEVANT.
IL PALAZZO RECENTLY RETRACTED THE CAKE BAN, STATING THAT IT WAS, IN FACT, THE BAND CAKE HE WISHED TO BAN. HOWEVER, HE INSTATED A NEW BAN ON GENOCIDE, WHICH FOR SOME REASON, DID NOT INCLUDE BORG ASSIMILATION, WHICH BEGAN IMMEDIATELY, AND LEGALLY.
MILITARY
IL PALAZZO HAS DECIDED TO PAY ASSORTED MILITARY PERSONNEL TO ENFORCE HIS CRAZY RULES. HE HAS NO IDEA WHAT THE ACTUAL VALUE OF MONEY IS (AS A SIDENOTE, HE COMPLETELY DISPARAGES CAPITALISM AND PLANS ON EVENTUALLY RIDDING THE DRESSING ROOM OF MONEY ANYWAY) AND PAYS WHATEVER THEY ASK.
MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES
IL PALAZZO'S GREATEST SECRET IS THAT HE IS FUCKING BATSHIT CRAZY. MOST PEOPLE DON'T NOTICE IN CANON BECAUSE MOST PEOPLE FROM EXCEL SAGA ARE AT LEAST MODERATELY BATSHIT CRAZY.
HE HAS MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES, THOUGH HE'S REALLY GOOD AT HIDING THEM AND THEY ACT ALMOST EXACTLY THE SAME. THE BEST WAY TO TELL WHICH PERSONALITY IS OUT IS BY HOW HE'S DRESSED.
DEFENSE, DEFENSE!
WHEN IL PALAZZO IS WEARING HIS SHOULDERPADS, THAT USUALLY MEANS HE'S IN DEFENSIVE MODE. THIS IL PALAZZO IS EXTREMELY HESITANT TO TAKE ACTION OF ANY SORT. HE IS GENERALLY PARANOID, CONFUSED, AND DISCONNECTED FROM REALITY. THIS IS THE IL PALAZZO WHO SITS IN HIS THRONE FOR HOURS UPON HOURS, PLOTTING AND SCHEMING, BUT WHEN IT COMES TIME TO GIVE HIS SUBORDINATES ORDERS, HE USUALLY JUST SENDS THEM OUT ON RECON WORK. THIS IS ALSO THE IL PALAZZO WHO PROMOTES INANIMATE OBJECTS OVER EXCEL. FINALLY, SHOULDERPADS IL PALAZZO IS SURPRISINGLY MORAL; HE DOES NOT BELIEVE THAT MURDER IS JUSTIFIABLE UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES.
OFFENSE, OFFENSE!
WHEN IL PALAZZO IS WITHOUT HIS SHOULDERPADS, WHETHER HE'S WEARING HIS ACROSS OUTFIT OR HIS BUSINESS SUIT, HE'S GENERALLY IN OFFENSIVE MODE. THIS IL PALAZZO IS CONNIVING, CUNNING, AND MANIPULATIVE. THIS IS THE IL PALAZZO WHO STARTED UP AN EXTREMELY WEALTHY ELECTRONICS COMPANY, AND THE ONE WHO ALMOST ENTIRELY SUCCEEDED IN CRUSHING HIS RIVAL KABAPU. HE IS COMPLIMENTARY TO EXCEL, CALLING HER WISE AND COURAGEOUS, BUT HE QUICKLY REPLACES HER WHEN SHE GOES MISSING. IL PALAZZO'S SECOND PERSONALITY IS COMPLETELY RUTHLESS, AND WOULD NOT HESITATE TO KILL TO REACH HIS ENDS.