HANNIBAL RISING

HOW IT CAME TO BE

ONE DAY, THOMAS HARRIS WAS SITTING IN HIS SOLID GOLD BATHTUB FULL OF MONEY, DRINKING AN ORPHAN-TEAR MARTINI, AND HE SAID TO HIMSELF, "I SHOULD WRITE ANOTHER HANNIBAL BOOK."

BUT HE WAS TOO LAZY TO DO IT SO HE TOOK HIS ORPHAN AND MADE THE ORPHAN WRITE IT INSTEAD.

THEN HE SOLD THAT PIECE OF SHIT FOR SIX FIGURES, PROVING THERE IS NO GOD.

WHAT IT IS

HANNIBAL RISING IS A FUCKING TERRIBLE BOOK AND A FUCKING MEDIOCRE MOVIE WHICH COMPLETELY RUIN THE TOTALLY AWESOME SERIAL KILLER, HANNIBAL LECTER, CONTRADICTING CANON IN RED DRAGON, SILENCE OF THE LAMBS, AND HANNIBAL, WHICH ARE ACTUALLY GOOD BOOKS.

IN HANNIBAL RISING, HANNIBAL IS A TERRIBLE LITTLE WEEABOO RAISED BY A JAPANESE STEREOTYPE IN FRANCE. ALSO, HE ATE HIS SISTER.

IF IT'S SO BAD THEN WHY IS ANYONE PLAYING FROM IT

BECAUSE UNCREATIVITY WANTED REALLY HOT ICONS

IS IT POSSIBLE THAT HANNIBAL LECTER IS ACTUALLY ANOTHER MATT ENGARDE?

PLEASE DRAW YOUR OWN CONCLUSIONS.