Houston Area News

The following stories have appeared as In Character news for the Houston NWoD chronicle, and should be considered available in all venues.
Newer stories should be added at the top of the page.

"Kitty Kattle" Introduced at Rodeo Petting Zoo

March 2006, Houston Chronicle society section article, in the midst of rodeo coverage

One of the most unique happenings at the 2006 Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo was the unveiling of Bos pygmus (variety Texas Longhorn), called "Teacup Longhorn" or "Kitty Kattle". Two of this adorable cat-sized breed of cow were presented to the childre


n's petting zoo by Elijah Noman, CEO of Easau Corporation, who have bred and patented the critters, and John T. Baker, former president of the Texas Longhorn Breeders Association of America.

While Noman states that, like his company's seminal product KosherPig(tm), the pint-sized bovines realistically deserve their seperate scientific species name, the distinction is not yet official. But this is of no concern to the many livestock- and cute
fuzzy animal- enthusiasts who are enamoured of the new animals, be they a breed or a species. Several local petstores have signed on to carry the animal, and it is being hailed as the hot new pet of 2006-at least for Texans. Martha McClain, long-time m
anager

of PetSmart on W. Alabama has reported that the initial half-dozen she carried were quickly sold, and a number are on order for adoption when they become available.

Noman reports that keeping his company's creation as indoor pets is approximately as high-maintenance as the keeping of pot-bellied pigs. As outdoor pets in a closed yard, they should be even easier.

"Bernie", pictured left, who was entered, tongue-in-cheek, to the Longhorn competition at the LiveStock show was presented with an honorary blue ribbon. Barely visible without a magnifying glass, the tiny award was proportional to the normal award just a
s Bernie is proportional to his larger cousins.

(Picture inset shows Elijah Noman holding a mianture Texas Longhorn bull, about the size of a cat.)

Cemeteries Are Out...

February 2006, Houston Press "News of the Weird" article

Cemeteries are apparently no longer the place for Houston Goths to impress each other. "Morgues are the new crypts" according to Margo McCob, a 19 year old goth who attends HaVoK nightclub, where I went looking for explanations for this bazar new crimin






al thrill.

While McCob asserts she has not taken part in such illegal activities, several young goths boasted of having broken into morgues and showed me small tokens such as surgical masks or embalming fluid containers as proof.

There appear to be many more goths bragging of having performed activities of a sexual nature inside a morgue than there have been reported morgue break ins. It is reassuring that none of the police reports have indicated evidence of necrophilia.

Not Quite At Rest Yet

February 2006, Houston Chronicle

Apparently walking around looking like corpses isn't enough for Houston's Neo-Goth population. Not content with imitating death in their appearance and tempting it with illicit drug use, these malcontents have sunk to defiling the dearly departed by raid






ing morgues.

Unlike grave-robbers of old, who were motivated by greed and removed valuables from a corpse and grave-site, this new breed of criminal appears to be motivated only by an attempt to satisfy a perverse fetish.

There have been numerous instances of trespassing and breaking-and-entering in the morgues around Houston in the past few weeks. In most - but not all - of the cases, the culprits were foiled in their attempts to move (or remove) partially embalmed bodie






s. In at least one case, a couple was caught with their pant's down - literally. Fortunately, they were apparently satisfied by proximity to the corpses, and there are no signs that they attempted to involve the departed in their activities.

Kyros Executives Mysterious Disappearance

January 2006, Houston Chronicle 2nd page news

The top Houston-based executives of The Kyros Conglomerate, famous in the business world for its success at businesses as diverse as department stores and oil ventures, have been reported missing.

The missing include Sterling Winslow Kyros V, great grand-nephew of the founders of Selfridge's, from which the business giant made its first humble steps; Maria Capponi, rated as the top-paid female executive by Forbes Magazine in 2005; Randal Polk, CEO
of Selfridge's Department Stores; Trey Gonzales; and Parker Lawrence, other high-ranking Kyros employees.

Reports were made of copious police activity at the Transco Tower, where the company makes its headquarters, on the evening of Saturday, January 28th, but the commissioner of police has reported that this was not in relation to the disappearance cases, wh






ich did not begin appearing until Wednesday. The nature of that investigation has not been released to the press.

Stock in the Conglomerate has plunged by 6.5 points per share since this announcement, but the remaining corporate office, located in New York City, has made press releases indicating that business in imports and exports will not be interrupted, and is im






mediately relocating a number of employees to Houston.

Anyone who may have information on the whereabouts of the missing between Saturday and Wednesday are urged to call 1-888-555-5555.